I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
