i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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