Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
