So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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