So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize