Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
