No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
