Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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