Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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