we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
