i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
