i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
