Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
