Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
