I think i sorta joined a cult last night
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
