Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
