Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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