seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
