Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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