this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
