no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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