is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
