I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
