Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
