You can't special order awesome
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
