You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
