we're blogging at a bar
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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