Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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