how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
