Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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