i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
