she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
