Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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