She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
