im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
