I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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