there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
