i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
