my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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