I just made out with a guy for $7.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just gift wrapped bread.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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