i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
