I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize