It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
