the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
