Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
