dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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