He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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