Fine. I'll sleep in my office
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just invented taco cereal.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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