people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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