I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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