Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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