Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
