About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
