He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
