Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
