Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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