what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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