I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
