And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
