Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
