I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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