we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
