Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize